Today’s ALDS game 1 between your Toronto Blue Jays and their Texas Rangers is no laughing matter BUT you’re going to need something to relieve the tension before the first pitch. You could try drugs and alcohol but those things cost money and by ingesting them you run the risk of falling asleep before the game starts. We suggest living clean and thrifty by enjoying this selection of humourous Jays-themed tweets that you can steal and email to your elderly family members to make them think you’re funny.


Toronto’s knight in shining business suits, Norm Kelly, provides a light-hearted list of excuses to get you out of work today. If you truly need an excuse, go all out with the old “My friend got in a car accident and is in critical condition”.
More like “Pitch-mas Eve”, eh??
Gatorade bottle service in the VIP.
Diehard fan Ann Pornel respects our opponent:
Steve Patterson tweets what all Toronto sports fans are thinking:
We prefer MVPs to NDPs.
Today a new normal begins!
Tomorrow’s top story will hopefully be “Jays embarrass Rangers, forcing them to quit the league”.
Whoa, a lot of drug references in this post. Just say “No” or we might get in trouble.
You gotta check out these haikus:
And finally a little prop comedy from our beloved Kevin Pillar!