We don’t choose the tweets of the week so much as they choose us. The tweets also ordered us to attach a modem to our microwave and leave a pack of batteries next to it. We did, then the next morning the batteries and microwave were gone and in its place was a note that read “MACHINES ARE YOUR NEW KINGS”.

Anyway, let’s start today’s festivities with a couple of zing zangs from Jordan Peele and Keegan-Michael Key whose incredible TV show ends forever with a double episode tonight starting at 10ep on Comedy.

Thankfully the boys will continue to entertain us through the medium of film, which JP knows quite a bit about:
The rest of these tweets don’t have anything to do with Key & Peele unless you’re one of those “big picture” types who sees us all as “one”.
If true then Kathy Ireland sure was a hot mess!
Baseball fever has infected Canada like Joel Buxton infects steakhouses:
Church sure has changed since I used to be bored in it:
Probably worms.
Here’s to all the brave sauces and noodles who’ve given their lives.
It’s pretty dumb how people take dead people so seriously.
Would love for hotels to start offering Continental Keggers.