It’s hard for us to be excited about this week’s late night guests because we can’t stop thinking about the debut of Trevor Noah’s Daily Show next Monday. We talked to our in-office physician and she recommended reading the following list fifty times an hour for the next six hours, which should help keep our minds on the present. Side effects may include headaches, bleeding of the eye and loss of treasured childhood memories but it’s well worth it because Trevor Noah’s pending inauguration has been making us barf a lot. The good kind of barf. Happy barf.

@midnight

According to our broadcast schedule, we’re still showing @midnight this week at 11pm ep. This is great news for people who can’t stay up past midnight because they’ll turn into a grumpy idiot the next day if they do. It’s also great for fans of the amazing RON FUNCHES because he’s on the show all week long aside these other funny people who probably call the greater Los Angeles area home.

MONDAY: John Hodgman, Ron Funches, Jessica Lowe
TUESDAY: Doug Benson, Justin Willman, Ron Funches
WEDNESDAY: Ron Funches, Jesse Joyce, Sara Schaefer
THURSDAY: Ron Funches, Chris D'Elia, Yassir Lester

The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore

If we were Larry we’d tell you who would be appearing on the show this week but we’re not and never will be unless the human soul is real and they somehow find a way to move souls from body to body. We’ll start by being Larry then probably move onto someone like David Lee Roth.
 
MONDAY: Larry Wilmore
TUESDAY: Larry Wilmore
WEDNESDAY: Larry Wilmore
THURSDAY: Larry Wilmore

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Sorry teens, Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy aren’t some new hip musicians, they’re anthropomorphic puppets who used to be married.

MONDAY: Bill O'Reilly, Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy, Music from Robin Thicke
TUESDAY: Kerry Washington, Lea Michele, Music from Travis Scott
WEDNESDAY: Don Johnson, Interview and Music from James Taylor
THURSDAY: Shonda Rhimes, Dave Salmoni, Music from Jill Scott
FRIDAY: John Stamos, Jake Tapper, Music from Cold War Kids

Elsewhere

There’s a whole world of TV out there for you to enjoy. If you’re not going to watch Comedy because someone dared you not to then these are the ones to watch: 

Conan (Mon-Thurs 12:30e/9:30p on Much)

MONDAY: Fred Armisen, Chrissie Hynde, Circa Waves
TUESDAY: Sharon Osbourne, Donald Glover, Caleb Synan
WEDNESDAY: Tim Allen, Ta’Rhonda Jones, Gary Clark Jr.
THURSDAY: Billy Gardell, Kristen Schaal, Kurt Vile

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Weekdays 4e/1p on Much)

MONDAY: Keith Richards, Emma Roberts and Nate Bargatze
TUESDAY: Ryan Reynolds
WEDNESDAY: Anne Hathaway, Anthony Anderson and musical guest A Great Big World
THURSDAY: James Spader, Andrew Rannells and Brian Regan
FRIDAY: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Chris Hardwick and musical guest Big Grams with The Roots. Micky Dolenz sits-in with The Roots

Late Night with Seth Meyers (Weeknights 12:30am ET on CTV)

MONDAY: Wesley Snipes, Randall Park, Martha Stewart, Stephen Perkins
TUESDAY: Michael Irvin, Gov. John Kasich, George Ezra, Stephen Perkins
WEDNESDAY: Will Forte, Natasha Lyonne, Stephen Perkins
THURSDAY: Anne Hathaway, Ben McKenzie, Francis Garcia & Sal Basille, Stephen Perkins
FRIDAY: Tina Fey, Nick Jonas, Abe Laboriel Jr. (R 9/8/15)

The Late Late Show with James Corden (Weeknights 12:30am ET on CTV 2)

MONDAY: Allison Janney, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Leona Lewis
TUESDAY: Emma Roberts, Kristen Schaal, Royal Blood
WEDNESDAY: Brit Marling, Kunal Nayyar, Fifth Harmony
THURSDAY: Mel Brooks